So, the last couple months of work have not been easy to deal with. I have had to overcome a lot of unjustified negative criticism. It has been a difficult ride and has not been one that I would look forward to ever going through again. I was getting positive feedback from everyone except my new direct manager, and her opinion is the only one that matters. They had HR eating our of their hand as well, so there was no one that I could turn to for assistance. I had considered filing a claim with the labor advisory board, but I figured it’s just not worth the effort. I hope me leaving provides a wake up call and the rest of my team members don’t have to deal with what I had to.
The decision to walk away from IBM was a difficult one to make as I needed to make sure I can provide for my family and ensure that we have everything we need. After many discussions with my wife and crunching numbers, we decided that it was possible for me to do so and that we would let the fate of it rely on my new reports willingness to assist me in getting “better” in her eyes. I sent a very thought out and detailed email about what I was confused on, how I needed assistance in understanding what her thoughts on my shortcomings were, as well as how I need some guidance on how to fix the things she thinks are wrong. This e-mail went completely un-acknowledged for over two weeks. This was an indication to me that this process was a one way street and that no matter what I did, I would be left without a job pretty soon and that I should walk away with anything I could. It’s a shame, because I truly loved what I was doing at IBM.
So, fast forward to today. I thought I was going to be stressed about not having an income, and not being able to rely on my job, but contrary to that, I feel AMAZING. From the moment that I decided to walk away, I felt an immediate and overwhelming relief on my entire body. I am genuinely happier, less stressed, and more importantly, able to be the man I want to be for my family instead of worrying about every little thing I do being under unjustified scrutiny. This has probably been the best decision that I have made to date, and I truly was dreading this day. Man, was I wrong. The stress from my situation was literally killing me, and my health has improved tremendously in just the week and half I have been without a job.
Furthermore, I have several side jobs lined up in the work that will actually pay me more than I was making before. I get to control when I work, and where, as well as be with my family any time I want without the worry of having to work on a critical issue.
Finally, on a serious note, I would like to take this opportunity to send a blessing, prayer, and dedication to my Aunt Georgia. This woman was a tremendous part of my life and is largely responsible for me being the man I am today. She was always a second mother to me and I could rely on her for anything. She pushed me more than any other family member to get me on the right path of education, religion, and morality in general. I lost her to the open arms of Jesus on Christmas morning. It was an odd time to have, but since she was a devout christian, I know that she would not have had it happen any other way, and I know she is where she belongs and has long yearned to be.
I dedicate my work, time, and this post to your memory Georgia. You will be missed! <3